Anxiety Levels are Down

My anxiety hasn't been too bad lately. I've been working on relaxation techniques and they seem to help. I did have one event this weekend where I was running late for something and my heart started racing. Even after I arrived with time to spare it took over a half hour to get my heart rate back to normal. I did feel a little odd sitting with this group of people, wondering if they could tell my heart was racing and I had the shakes.

I never realized that so much of my anxiety stemmed from social activities. I love getting out and doing things, I enjoy meeting people, so I'm not quite sure what to make of it. I do a lot of volunteer work and before every single event I have an anxiety attack. No wonder I enjoy sitting at home in solitude and working on my website. It seems to have become my "release". Whenever I'm having a stressful moment if I can get away for a while and work on the site, it becomes "instant relaxation".

Minor stress at work today, although the phones are quite, my boss left town without leaving enough money for payroll (let alone any bills due). When I first started working here I felt sorry for him, I thought he was just a nice old man trying to keep his company above water. Now I realize he just doesn't care. This is just a source of income for him and he dumps anything remotely stressful on his emplyees. From my experience in business (or as common sense would say) .... it can't go on that way. Not only will it create poor morale for the staff, but you only get out of your business what you put into it. He is under the impression that he has an established company so it should be able to run itself now. He is also the king of giving people responsibilities without the authority to carry out the task. Its sad to think that his dad, who started a successful company and ran it successfully for 30 something years couldn't pass a little knowledge on to his son. No wonder so many second and third generation family owned businesses fail.

I have finally come the conclusion that I am not taking the grief for him. If he can't pay his bills, that's his problem, I will name drop and be honest about the cashflow situation here. If they don't like it then I'm off to the unemployment line. I have been taking on his stress for too long. I am now under the mindset of "If there's nothing I can do about it, don't stress....these are not my problems they're HIS"! I refuse to be a scapegoat for his problems.

Whew...that felt good to get off my chest...lunch is over...back to work.

Lori